Best Thing I Never Had
by Ally R. Swan
Summary: AU: Regina finds out she can't have kids. Henry is an abused kid in the foster system. One night he ends up at her doorstep. One-Shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of its characters. Everything belongs to ABC and Disney.**

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Regina's POV

I threw my purse onto the couch and my keys into the dish on the counter. I watched as my purse fell onto the floor. I sighed, but did not bother to pick it up. I just done with today. It had been a day, one that I wanted to forget. I went to the doctor earlier today and I was having trouble being able to process the news. This whole day felt like a nightmare and I just wanted to wake up. But it was real and I would give anything for it not to be. Soon, I was going to have to tell people. They would want to know because they had been there with me through my struggles. One of them had been the one to suggest I go to the doctor to find out what is wrong and eventually I was convinced. I figured it couldn't hurt to find out and see what my options were. Now, with knowing, I wish I never would have went. I wonder if it would have been better not to know. Maybe it would have been to keep trying and failing. But with knowing, this pain, it just made it all real and I did not want it to be real. I knew when some people found out they would tell me 'they are sorry' and look at me with pity. I did not want those looks. And I knew there would also be some people that would tell me 'it was not meant to be'. I do not want to hear that bullshit. Not meant to be? I am unable to do the thing most women can. I can't have a child and it actually breaks my heart. I guess there could be some positives in there, as said by the idiots in town that think children is a waste of time. They will tell me I will save money and that it will be easier to be in a relationship without a kid tying me down. They would remind me that some men just do not want kids and it would be easier to have a relationship without a kid. I knew most of those would be attempts to cheer me up. But they were far from what I needed to hear. I did not want anyone's pity or optimistic bullshit. The only thing I wanted is a child and it seems as that is unlikely to ever happen.

A part of me probably knew deep down that after all the trying and failing. I probably knew about my infertility but I just didn't want to face it; I still don't want to believe it. Never finding a relationship that could work—romantically—was something I could learn to live with but _this_ was something different. I don't know if I'll ever able to get over this. I have always wanted a family. Maybe it comes from growing up in a broken home, but I wanted to have a child to give them the one thing I always wanted: Love; unconditional love. The thought of having a child to love was something that always gave me happiness. And now knowing that having a child of my own was impossible, I feel nothing but utter sadness. The only thing I could ever wish for would be a child; that was a wish that would never come true.

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Henry's POV

I was used to the pain but they were particularly cruel tonight. I always try not to piss them off but I somehow always manage to. I always do something wrong and I can never manage to do anything right. The only thing I seem to be good at is making them angry. The only thing I am good for is a punching bag. At least they have someone to take their anger out on. What I would like to know is why they hate me so much and what exactly I did tonight to make them so angry. Usually I can figure out which mistakes it were but tonight I couldn't figure it out. They didn't seem more drunk than usual and did everything they asked. I just wanted to avoid the beatings for one night—just for tonight. Ironically, I think this is one of the worst ones I've gotten since I started living at that home. I wonder if they knew what day it is and that's why the beating was the worst it has been; maybe this was my birthday gift. Either way, I probably deserved it.

I had to leave. I had to get out of there. I was used to the pain they inflicted and I would just deal with it. I would remind myself eventually the physical pain would pass and usually it did. But tonight, it seemed to continue to linger. And I also did not want to chance them hearing me cry and beating me some more. I had to leave, at least for the night. Sleeping on the cold sidewalk would be better than that house. I limped down the streets, walking for a few blocks. It was dusk, with barely any light left outside. The streetlights were just coming on. If my vision wasn't blurry, it probably could have helped me see where I was going. Though I guess it didn't matter. I wasn't going anywhere specific. Just as far away as I could get from that house tonight. I knew it wouldn't make it far with how much pain I was in, but that didn't matter. Getting out of that foster home for the night was enough.

It started to get cold, very cold. I started to shiver. I then started coughing. I covered my mouth with my shaky hand as I did, noticing how sore my throat felt. Instead of the pain fading, tonight it just keeps getting worse. I felt very sick and weak. I wasn't sure how much further I could go. I could barely see and with every step I continued to take I felt weaker. _Maybe if I sit for a moment._ I looked for the nearest house and sat down on one of the steps and coughing. I shivered, feeling colder. I felt very tired but I gave everything I had to stay awake. I was only going to rest for a moment. But then I heard a noise and turned around to see the front door open to the house I stopped at. _Shit. I should have kept going._ I felt afraid of what whoever lived here would say. I knew it was likely they might scream at me and though I was afraid, I felt too awful to run.

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Regina's POV

I poured myself a glass of wine and then sat on the couch, dimming the lights down. I sipped the wine slowly and just sat there. It probably wasn't helping to dwell on my sadness but I couldn't help it. I felt devastated and I didn't know what else to do. "I wish…" I said, putting the glass near my lips and letting out a shaky breath. "I could have a family…a child. That's all I want. To love a child and give them everything they deserve." I had never wished for anything and there was nothing I wouldn't give to have that; though I knew that it was useless. It seemed I wasn't meant to be a mother.

As I sat there, I looked out my front window. I sipped the wine and just watched. I wasn't sure what I was looking for—or watching. I finished my glass and set it down on the table and turned my attention back to out the window. That is when I noticed someone sitting outside on one of my steps. They weren't coming to my front door. They just sat on one of my steps for a few minutes. I thought it was very strange. A few more minutes past and when they hadn't moved, I got up and decided to see who it was and what they were doing.

"Hello?" I said, going outside and the person slowly stood and then turned to my direction so I could see their face. It was a young boy. He looked very familiar. I was pretty sure I had seen him in town a few times. I didn't know him very well but I could tell from standing there that he did not look very good.

"I-I'm sorry." He apologized.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked. I figured maybe there was a reason he was here.

"N-No, I'm sorry. I was just—nothing, I'm g-gonna go." He stuttered and then started to make his attempt to leave.

"Hey, wait." I said and he stopped. Something seemed off here. The kid was acting strange and not to mention he just sat on the steps to my house for no reason. "Are you okay?" I asked, coming down a few of the steps.

The kid wouldn't even look at me directly. "Y-Yeah."

"You don't sound sure." I said, taking another step closer which caused him to take a few more steps to back away from me. I noticed him shivering; he seemed scared. He then started to cough and it did not sound good. "And that doesn't sound good either."

"I'm f-fine." He insisted and then attempted to walk away. He limped, taking the first step, and then as he took a few more, he then started to stumble over. I quickly went over to him and caught him so he didn't lose his balance.

"I don't think you're fine." I said, keeping a firm hold on him. I had to keep him on his feet. He looked like he would fall over if I didn't. "Why don't you come inside for a few minutes?" I suggested. It was strange for me to suggest this. I didn't know this kid and I doubted he knew me. I didn't usually invite strangers into my home, but this kid worried me. He looked like he needed help and I wanted to help him. "It's freezing out here and you can barely stand up." I said, making a fair argument, knowing he was going to try and protest. He didn't say anything, but he nodded.

I brought him inside and then guided him over to my couch. I got a blanket out of my closet and then brought it over, wrapping him in it. He gripped the edges of it tightly, keeping it close as he shivered. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Henry." He spoke, only glancing up at me for half a second.

"I think I've seen you around town." I said. I probably did a few times. It was probably at the library, but I wasn't sure. I knew he was familiar.

"Maybe." He shrugged before he began coughing again.

"That doesn't sound too good." I pointed out. Henry looked absolutely awful and I couldn't help but wonder why he was out here when he should be at home.

"It's fine." Henry insisted before coughing again. After that coughing fit, left on his face was a look of pure exhaustion.

"You should be at home." I said. What he needed right now was to be home and in bed, not out here in the cold, going wherever it is he was planning on going. "Where are your parents?" I asked. Maybe I could call them to come get him. Surely they must be worried about him; especially if they knew he was sick.

"Don't have any." He told me and I frowned.

"Everyone has parents. You don't have anyone?" I asked, wanting to be sure.

"Foster parents." Henry admitted. "They don't care."

I couldn't help but frown again at that response. I couldn't imagine what that was like. I could only assume. From what I could tell is that Henry didn't want to go back to them. And that essentially told me all I needed to know. It was like he had said; he doesn't have parents. I knew it could always be hit or miss with foster parents. Depending on how they treated their kids and I could gather that the ones Henry has didn't treat him well.

"Well either way, I don't like the sound of that cough." I told him.

"It'll go away." Henry insisted.

"Let me give you something for it." I offered.

"No." Henry shook his head but I ignored the protest and got some cough medicine from the kitchen cabinet, bringing it over in a small cup. "I'm not going to take it."

"What? Afraid I might poison you? May I remind you kid, you were camped out on my steps. If I wanted to get rid of you, I would have just told you to leave. " I pointed out. And what could I possibly get out of by hurting the kid? That was the last thing I wanted to do. "It's just cough medicine. It might taste poisonous but it's not." I joked slightly. It seemed to get him to trust me as he took the small cup from me and swallowed the medicine.

"Thank you." Henry said, softly.

"You look tired." I said, noticing his eyes were just barely open, not any more than a crack. He looked utterly exhausted. Which made since given this kid was clearly sick and he had likely walked a bit. Storybrooke only had a few foster homes and the closest one was at least a mile or two away from here. Henry clearly wanted to get away from it. Henry couldn't even muster words to respond. He just nodded slowly. "Here, lay down." I said and he didn't protest, he just laid down on the couch and adjusted the blanket over him. "So tell me, what are you doing out here?"

"Pain…I couldn't stay there…not tonight." He admitted. His voice was barely audible.

"At your foster home?" I asked and Henry nodded slightly. As the blanket fell off his shoulder for a moment, that's when I noticed a few bruises. "Do they hurt you?" I asked, as I covered him up once again, already knowing the answer. Henry looked at me for a moment before glancing away. He didn't answer me. But I already knew the answer. It made sense why he wanted to get away from them.

I didn't get to say anything else to Henry as he fell asleep. Though I had more I wanted to say and ask, I felt relieved. He needed some sleep. I stayed close by, just in case he woke up. And he did a few hours later. "Hey, it's okay." I said, going back over to him when he woke up. He seemed startled. I wondered if he remembered his voyage here. It seemed to come back to him a moment after the initial scare. "You're okay." I soothed and then he laid back on the couch, taking a deep breath.

"What time…?" He managed to ask.

"8:15." I said. He had only been asleep an hour or two.

"I should probably…"

I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I don't think you're in any place to go anywhere." I placed a hand gently on his shoulder to keep him laying down. I was surprised he didn't flinch. The last thing he needed to do right now was move. "You're sick."

"I don't want to cause trouble." Henry replied.

"Then don't argue with me. You're staying right here." I said, smiling slightly in his direction. I placed my hand on his forehead and he felt very warm, so I went and brought back a damp washcloth, placing it on his forehead. He flinched at the cold touch. "I think you have a fever. This should help bring it down."

"I'm cold…" He shivered.

I grabbed another blanket and put it over him. "That should help. I can make you something hot to drink. Some tea or hot chocolate." I offered and he seemed to want to say something but he was hesitating. "Do you have a preference?"

"I hate tea." He admitted.

"Hot chocolate it is." I said and then made some quickly. I didn't make this often, but luckily I did have what I needed to make some. I made the mug and then sprinkled cinnamon on the top in habit. I had a boyfriend whom refused to drink hot chocolate without a dash of cinnamon on top. I brought it back to Henry, sitting next to him. "I hope you don't mind the cinnamon. I had a boyfriend who loved cinnamon in his cocoa." I explained as he sat up slightly.

"I love cinnamon." He smiled at me, slightly and closed lipped. He blew on it and took a sip. "Why are you being so nice?"

"Because I can tell you are a good person and you needed some help." I answered. It was strange. I had trust issues and I wouldn't normally bring someone I barely knew into my home. But there was just something about this kid. I couldn't leave him and I wanted him to stay. I'm glad that I did bring him inside, given what I know now. And now all I knew is that I wanted to help him in any way I could.

"No one has ever cared before." Henry sighed. "Don't think I deserve it."

"I think you do." I said, disagreeing with him. _This poor kid_. I remember those feelings all too well. My mother was far from loving to say the least.

"You don't even know me." Henry said. I had seen him around but he was right. I didn't know him. I didn't know his name until two hours ago. But he was a kid and no kid deserved to be treated like trash. I knew from experience.

"Then let me get to know you." I said.

"There's not much to know. I'm thirteen and I'm an orphan. No one wanted me. My foster parents use me as a meal ticket and a punching bag." He said. "I'm not sure why I'm telling you that." He added, probably referring to the last part that he let slip. That was probably something he should have saved for his social worker, but in a way, I felt touched that he felt he could tell me that. I knew that was something that would be hard to admit. I wanted to say 'sorry' but I resisted the urge. He didn't want pity. That wasn't what he needed.

"I think you left out a few things." I said as I then ran a hand through his hair. "You love reading and possibly writing," I remember seeing him at the library a couples times. I knew now that had to be where I have seen him before. "You like hot chocolate with cinnamon and you have a good heart." I could just tell. And it seems the ones with the biggest hearts hurt the most.

"Those things aren't very important." Henry said.

"They are very important." I protested. "They describe you. And from I can tell, you're pretty great." Henry smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Are you sure I'm not putting you out…by being here?" Henry asked and I shook my head. "What about your family?"

"It's just me." I admitted. "Nobody else. No boyfriend, no husband, no kids."

"Oh." Henry frowned. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I said. Maybe with time I would get over the not being able to have kids part.

"I shouldn't have assumed." Henry said. "You would make a great mom. I wish I could have had one like you." That made me smile for a moment.

"You should get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need anything." I told him.

"Thank you, Miss…"

"You can call me Regina." I told him, realizing I had never told him my name.

"Thank you, Regina." Henry smiled as he turned onto his side and shut his eyes. I stayed next to him, rubbing his back a little until I was sure he was asleep. Life works in strange ways sometimes. Earlier that night I had been wallowing in self-pity because I couldn't have a child of my own. I spent the night wishing for a way for that to happen and then Henry showed up here. For some odd reason, that just gave me hope. Maybe it wouldn't be hopeless to have a family. And I think this kid just showed me that.

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**A/N: This didn't turn out how I originally planned it in my head, but I decided to leave it. I kind of like how it came out. I've been doing one RP with the Abused Henry element and I wanted to do some writing with it. **

**Please don't forget to review.**


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